When More Becomes the Requirement for Enough

Have you ever been so focused on becoming more that you forgot how to enjoy who you already are?

The other day, while driving with a friend, I was asked a pretty common question:

“How do you want to grow in this season?”

Without even thinking, I responded, “I want to grow in not needing to grow.”

The words surprised me.

I paused, and as I sat with what I had just said, emotions began bubbling to the surface. I realized how exhausting it can be to live continually dissatisfied with what is because I am always reaching for what could be.

More growth. More maturity. More gifting. More influence. More achievement. More intimacy with God. More depth in relationships. More fruitfulness.

You can fill in the blank.

I began to recognize something in myself: more had quietly become the requirement for enough.

What I have is good, but I need more.

Who I am is good, but I need to become more.

What God is doing is good, but surely there should be more.

And when “more” becomes the requirement for “enough,” you can spend your entire life growing without ever actually enjoying your life.

I know not everyone can relate to this tension, but I know some can. There is something strange about being deeply committed to growth while struggling to enjoy the person you already are. You can become so focused on who you are becoming that you never celebrate who God has already made you.

You can become so committed to cultivating tomorrow that you never taste the fruit hanging from the branches today.

I am discovering that one of the subtle tactics of the enemy is convincing us that we need something we do not currently have in order to experience fullness now.

If I were just more mature.

If my marriage were deeper.

If my ministry were larger.

If I were more disciplined.

If I heard God more clearly.

If I finally accomplished that goal.

If I could overcome that weakness.

Then I could rest.

Then I could enjoy my life. Then I would feel successful. Then I would finally feel like what I have and who I am is enough.

But that finish line keeps moving.

Because the problem isn’t actually that we don’t have enough. The problem is that we have trained our souls to believe that enough is always somewhere ahead of us.

Maybe there are seasons when the invitation of God is not primarily to become more, accomplish more, or even understand more.

Maybe sometimes the invitation is simply to receive and enjoy what already is.

To breathe in.

To breathe out.

To look around at your relationships, your talents, your assignments, your opportunities, your accomplishments, and even your unfinished places and say, “Thank You.”

There is a difference between holy hunger and restless dissatisfaction.

Holy hunger can deeply desire more of God while simultaneously being overwhelmed with gratitude for what has already been given. Restless dissatisfaction tells us we cannot be at peace until something changes.

One says, “God, I want everything You have for me.”

The other says, “God, what You have given me isn’t enough.”

Those can look remarkably similar from the outside while producing completely different realities within the soul.

Perhaps maturity is not merely becoming better.

Perhaps maturity is also developing the capacity to enjoy what God has already given you.

Paul said, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances” (Philippians 4:11).

Contentment had to be learned.

Maybe I am learning it too.

I still want to grow. I still want to mature. I still want deeper relationships, greater intimacy with God, increased wisdom, greater fruitfulness, and everything else He desires to develop within me.

But I do not want growth to be the price I must pay before giving myself permission to enjoy my life.

I don’t want to spend my entire life reaching for the next thing only to discover that I never enjoyed the gifts that were already sitting in my hands.

So maybe the question for this season isn’t only:

“God, how do You want me to grow?”

Maybe there is another question worth asking:

“God, what have You already given me that I have been too busy trying to grow beyond to actually enjoy?”

If something in you is fascinated by these words, pay attention to that.

Maybe the Holy Spirit is inviting you to explore what your soul has believed it still needs before it can finally rest. What still needs to change before you can be content? What do you still need to accomplish before you feel successful? Who do you still need to become before you believe you are enough?

What if, for a moment, you stopped trying to answer the question of who you need to become and simply received the life God has already given you?

Look around.

Notice what is already here.

The relationships. The growth that has already happened. The prayers that have already been answered. The gifts already in your hands. The person you have already become.

Give yourself permission to enjoy it.

I want to grow. But perhaps one of the greatest areas of growth available to me right now is learning that I don’t always need more.

More does not have to be the requirement for enough.

Maybe today the invitation is simply to stop, breathe, give thanks, and enjoy what already is.